ATE TOO MANY CHRISTMAS COOKIES

CAN’T EVEN THINK ABOUT PLAYING CATCH NOW

MAYBE LATER K

BUSY DAY IN THE BOARDROOM

JUST GONNA WATCH SOME FOOTBALL K

GOT A JOB AS A BABY LINEBACKER FOR THE VIKINGS

GONNA GO LIFT WITH SOME OF THE GUYS AFTER THIS

WHERE ARE MY SHOES

The Baby Ducks Answer Your Questions II

Q: How do you manage to keep an active social life while still running your own business? –Manny

We are not sure how to answer this without sounding cocky? But we have just never had a problem meeting women. The ladies love us. They come over to our house just to see us; they approach us at the grocery store. We are thinking of writing a book about how to meet women, as soon as we figure out what we’re doing right.

We suspect it is our rugged good looks.

As for our business, we have to be honest, it is hard to balance entrepreneurship with a robust social life. As the CEOs of our own company, we have a lot of responsibilities. We keep a very busy round-the-clock schedule. But we couldn’t do it all if it weren’t for our staff. For example, the head of our Rocking and Cuddling Division (Grandma) is great — her leadership in that division has given us a lot of time to grow our business. And to carve out time for some leisure activities we enjoy, such as pooping in the bath, golfing, and waving our hands.

 

Q: Do you like your big brother? — Savarra

Big Brother is the coolest dude we know. We are not sure why he makes this face in pictures, though.

 

Q: What has been your favorite meme? — Sara

Our mom really likes Mass Comm Ryan Gosling. That one is kind of over our heads. We prefer cats with captions.

Our favorite Baby Duck meme is anything involving corporate jargon. We think cumbersome words are funny.

Q: What are some of your your favorite nicknames that you have been given? — Stephanie

Apparently we used to live in our mom’s tummy. While we were in there, our parents started calling us “A-Bear” and “B-Bear,” because the doctors called us “Baby A” and “Baby B.”

For some reason they still call us that, even though I would like to point out that my name starts with a D, and not a B. Sometimes my mom calls me Drama Llama, which she thinks is funny but which is not actually very funny.

Q: [For Big Brother] What is your favorite thing about having two little brothers? Also, what are you looking forward to doing with your two brothers as they get older? — Stephanie

“I like to play with them. I think I am going to teach them how to play sports when they get older.” — Big Brother.

Q: [For Big Brother] Who do I play, Ponder against WAS or Dalton against CLE and MINN Def agains WAS or ATL Def against OAK? –Manny

Big Brother and his fantasy sports assistant (Daddy) like Ponder going against a bad defense that has a lot of injuries. Dalton has a nice matchup on paper, but Big Brother thinks he is not necessarily very talented. Also, the Browns’ top cornerback is healthy. The Browns play tough at home, and he thinks they will upset the Bengals (which are overrated). You can’t go wrong with either defense, but he likes the Falcons at home against a quarterback “who throws a ton of interceptions and takes a lot of sacks.” However, if RG3 has an unexpected setback and doesn’t play Sunday, definitely start the Vikings.

The Baby Ducks Answer Your Questions

Q: What is your favorite rainy day activity? – Melissa

A: You will like this one! First, ask your mom to buy you a light-up toy with a little spinning planet in the middle. Then ask a tall person to place you on a blanket under the toy.

It will BLOW YOUR MIND. We can’t overstate how fun this is.

We wish we could be more specific about where to get the toy. Ours just appeared one day.

Q: How come the Bachelor and Bachelorette couples can’t seem to find true love? – Melissa

A: We were also crushed to discover that Ben and Courtney’s contract expired relationship ended! But we have some ideas about the longevity problem regarding ABC-engineered reality show engagements.

We think a combination of factors (exotic locales, isolation from friends and family, free alcohol provided by production staff) come together to produce an ephemeral feeling of excitement/novelty and accompanying lowered inhibitions in contestants that may lead to a sensation of “falling” for someone more quickly than one would in the course of ordinary experience.

We also suspect that the mandatory several-month separation after the show, together with the experience of watching one’s newly engaged partner dating other people (when the show airs), can’t be conducive to happy, long-term trust-based relationships.

We think the show would be much better if, instead of strolling along white-sand beaches and drinking on yachts, the bachelors and bachelorettes spent several months getting to know each other in their own cities, doing activities like babysitting adorable Baby Ducks (good practice for the future!)

But we are just two small Ducks. Your mileage may vary.

Q: (for Big Brother) How do you think the Vikings did today? (Oct. 7) – Nana

A: “They are doing good! I think their quarterback is doing well. I think they will win most of their games this year.” — Big Brother

The Baby Ducks and Big Brother welcome your questions on a variety of topics. You can ask them here.